Thursday, December 11, 2008

A Few Notes on Escalation

Go French (make out) first. Doesn't matter where you are. Just go for close.

If you are denied, don't fret and go for the neck and kiss her there until she's ready for a make out.

If you are denied again, don't fret, continue as normal, and try again later. If it's an issue, go somewhere more private when you do this, or make her feel hot first by physically teasing her with tickeling or making her give you a massage, and so on.

If you're still being denied, and she's obviously into you, ask her what's wrong.

This also applies to sexual escalation. Try, try, and try again with a twist. If it doesn't work, ask her what's wrong.

Communication is sexy. It will also make her trust you - and believe me, she won't go to bed with you if she doesn't trust you, so don't be afraid to communicate with her. If she's going home with you, and not getting naked with you - then you need to know what's wrong if you want to stop wasting time.

The part about not fretting, or making a big deal about being denied, is important. The maxime goes like this: "If you make a big deal of it, she will make a big deal of it." So don't make a big deal about it! Just continue as normal.

And remember: A girl expects a man to escalate. If you're on a date and you don't escalate, she will most likely feel very disappointed. She may even get down right angry with you, or show signs of passive aggressiveness later on. So go for close, dude! Always!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Ladder

So you want to find out if she wants to have sex with you? Then I present to you The Ladder (of Escalation).

#1 Open, attract and hook her into a conversation with you.

Remember, if she's talking to you, it's the only IOI you'll ever need.

I'm of course assuming here that you're a confident opener and that you are able to hook the girl you want and get into a conversation with her. At the very least she has to be paying attention to what you have to say. The ability to do this rests entirely on your own skill in attraction.

Another thing you should know is that it's not what you say, but how you act that will attract her. This is again highly governed by your state, and your ability to dance in the moment. For more on how to be in the moment, I highly recommend reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

#2 Make her comfy with your touch.

This is an important step, and really something you want to do right off the bat - heck, even before you start speaking to her. Remember, we've only had spoken language for so long, but touch is what will make your cat purr.

Just don't be creepy. A sure way of coming off as creepy is to be too timid, but it will also be creepy if it seems forced.

#3 Go for isolation.

Get her with you either to the dance floor, or get her seated away from her friends - and yours. A mini-isolation, just taking her a few steps away from her group and facing her back at them, will also work if she's hot for you.

This is one of the most important things that you will do. However, there's a pickup maxime, "Change Her Mood, Not Her Mind!" If she doesn't want to even move a few metres with you, you'll have to see how long you want to try to get her in a better mood before you give it a second go. And if that doesn't work, you are really better off finding another girl than getting into something that at best will be one way communication, or at worst a needy attempt to pull the girl by force.

#4 Escalate into makeout.

This one is also pretty important, if you don't want the whole thing to end in a number close. If you can't see it in her eyes, it's always a safe bet to make her hot first by kissing her in the neck. So far I've never been stopped when doing this. Also, if she denies me her lips or turns away at first, I usually work her neck a little first to heat her up. This - with some teasing - usually ends in a makeout.

If she keeps denying you, it may be because she's shy or she thinks too many people are looking. Especially if you're too close to her friends, this can pose a problem. In that case: Move to a more discrete place.

Persistence is key here, but don't overdo it either. If she really doesn't want you, she'll say no, push you away or get angry. Only then is it time to stop.

#5 Don't make out for too long. Stop after a while.

If you're not at home, you shouldn't make out for too long, as the fire will die out after a while. When she's not horny anymore, the validation she got from making out with you is enough for her, so don't let that happen. Stop a little bit before it gets too comfortable, and...

#6 Take her home.

...Or wherever it is you'd like to take her.

Now, if she doesn't want to come with you at this point, don't sweat it. Sometimes you'll just have to lead her. Take her hand and lead. It honestly doesn't matter where. Soon enough you will find a private spot.

Even if you can't get her to come home with you, if you've got this far, she'll probably want to see you again anyway. So just take her number, smile, and let her walk away with her friends.

Then when you find your private spot, just undress her while you kiss.

Break a leg!

How to use The Ladder

The Ladder is only a description of a minimum of recommended steps to get you where you want to be, to get her to bed. It's not the ONLY way of getting laid, but if you've never gotten laid before, or you're having trouble getting trough the process, looking at where you are on The Ladder is a great way of understanding what you have to work with. It simply gives you hints for what you can read up on, and go out and train for. And in truth, the only thing you really need is experience - and you only get that by getting out of your house and into conversations with women where you escalate and go for close.

Remember: The Field is KING!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Pinky Finger

A lover of min told me a story from one of her first dates. The boy who went with her was very sweet, but also inexperienced and too timid. She liked him, and decided to go on a date with him even still.

They were going to watch a film.

He was completely in awe of her, and didn't quite know what to do with his attraction for her. So when they sat down, for a long part of the film - a romantic comedy - he did nothing. But after a while his desire won over his wit. He wanted badly to touch her, but without a clear solution on how she would react, and fearful of - God forbid - rejection, he chose to sneak in on her.

Slowly he started to make his move, hoping that she wouldn't notice. He started to twist his arm ever so slowly in her direction, trying to inch in on her with his little finger - the finger closest to her.

At long last he managed to get close enough to touch her hand, but for the last inch he stopped short, wondering if it was safe to go ahead. She could feel his insecurity growing in the chair next to her, but still she didn't move, excited to know what he'd do about it.

Finally he decided to overcome his fear, and touched her hand for a brief moment. It was his moment of glory. He had made it, and completely alienated the girl in the process.

"What the fuck is he doing?" she wondered, and felt sad that he was such a wimp.

After that, she decided to never see him again. What she had seen was only a creepy guy needing badly to overcome his fear for her - the woman he felt was so much better than him that he barely dared to touch her. Silently she wished he would at least be man enough to touch her in a proper way - to take her hand into his and making her feel good by stroking it instead of making such a big deal out of it.

Overcoming his own fear like that was of course marvellous, but in the end it didn't help him much either. So don't be a wimp. Don't sneak your pinky finger into her. Instead be assertive, take control, and show her that you're man enough for her.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

About Beauty

Don't deny yourself beauty. It is one of the main driving forces behind your desire. It is what makes your life into a better place, and the more you focus on true beauty, the more you will surround yourself with it.

The fear of beauty
Sometimes looking at beauty is like looking at the sun. There is fear involved. But know that only by confronting it, accepting your own feelings about it, and becoming comfortable with it, can you ever win it over.

Most people do not dear to confront beauty because they secretly have a fear of loss. They actually think that they will loose beauty if they want to come closer to it, like they somehow don't deserve it.

This fear is illogical at best.

Enjoy it, or for ever let it go
If all you desire is to look at it, then look. It is after all only a fleeting moment, and you can either enjoy it then and there, or let it go - for ever. However, if you truly want it in your life, you will only get it by facing your fear and taking action.

If you feel down, or out of it, most of the time it just means that you're not aware of all the beauty that surrounds you. You may be focussing on other things, like your own desperation or how life is treating you unfairly; mainly things that make you focus inwards, when what you should really do is look around you and take in all the beauty.

I'm not just talking about beutiful women here. I'm taking a broader perspective. Everything that is good, is also beautiful. But if you want something that is good, you must also be aware of it. If you're not, and instead focussed inwards and thus uncounscous of all the beauty - how could you ever find beauty, if you don't see it?

Do not long, take action
Now, you may see beauty, and long for it. This is the first step in taking action, because what you can see, is also within your reach. Don't let your bad feeling hold you back, your sorry excuses for not daring to take on beauty head on. Only then will you be able to fully surround yourself with it. Those who long, are also those who will never have. Instead act on your desire. Confront it. Only then may you fully immerse yourself in it.

However, this is hard if you do not understand that beauty is infinite. There isn't just one flower on the meadow. There are thousands. How can you loose beauty if you loose but one flower? Sure, a loss is always sad, but there are so many others to keep you happy. When you attach yourself to just one, you also distance yourself to all the others. So always keep your options open, and don't let yourself be blinded by beauty. After all, what good is beauty if it takes away your freedom?

Commit to love, not to the moment
In terms of women, I'm not saying that you should never commit. But if you choose to do so, at least do it on the right terms - after you have taken a closer look and made a proper desicion. After all, why should you commit if it's not perfect? When there are so many others out there (and when you do not fear confrontation, you will truly have access to them all) why should you commit to the first that comes along? You may be missing out on the love of your life. But I can also tell you that love is something that blossoms slowly. You have to get to know her for this to happen, and while this is happening, commiting may leave you wanting. It would be bad for both of you.

Remember this: Beauty is not eternal. Infinite, yes, but not eternal (there are those who look for eternal beauty, and may their search be a happy one, though they may find themselvese searching for eternety as well). This is why beauty is best experienced when you're fully in the moment. Only then will you, withouth any need and by truly selflessly giving from yourself, be able to confront it and fully immerse yourself in it. When you are in essence happy, beauty will come to you no matter what.

After all, commiting to the moment is contradictory. If you truly live in the moment, all you do is to exist in happiness. Commiting isn't even a part of it. But if you find true love - whatever it may look like - committing to it may also give you great inner peace.

About uglyness
Now, how do you deal with uglyness? The things that repulse you, plainness, or the things that you simply do not find attractive?

The answer is quite easy. Accept it.

Life is too short to look at uglyness. Instead look at all the beauty around you. Take it in. Uglyness and especially plainness will always exist side by side with beauty. Without uglyness, there would be no beauty - only plainness. You wouldn't really notice it at all. But do you ever question plainness? Well, nor should you question, or even focus on, uglyness. Just accept that it is there. It is completely natural. Instead focus on the beauty, and be thankfull for it.

Best of luck
You may fail at first. But remember, beauty is infinite. There are many more, and you need not put a lot of emphasis on the first ones you encounter, because they are, after all, only training for the one true beauty that will become your eternal love.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Masturbation Is Good For Your Libido

Possibly.....
At least read this and consider it.

Sexual activity (including masturbation) increases testosterone levels in men. Testosteron makes you a go-getter, and is therefore vital for pickup (as well as for growing muscles if you're into body building).

If you stop masturbating, reseach has shown that the level of testosterone in your body will stay dormant for six days. On the seventh day, it will suddenly grow to a peak, and then plummeth to near zero during the day. After the seventh day, you become less aggressive, more docile, and less sexually active and of course less competetive - and your hair and muscle growth will subside to a standstill. (Add female hormones into the mix, and you will actually start turning into a woman! :p)

If you want to grow your game (including your muscles) you should opt for the highest level of testosterone possible. If you don't have a lot of sex, your second option for maintaining a high level of testosterone is to masturbate regularly.

Sexual activity (including masturbation) also releases feromones that affects the opposite sex in different ways (it basically pushes hormonal buttons inside her, thus making her horny). Now, when you have sex with a woman, this releases a lot of feromones from the both of you - made to incite you to stay together. But your state of intense post-sexual well being, and your smell, also makes you sexy to other females. That's exactly why many men claim that it's easier to pull new women just after you've already had sex (this is my experience too, btw).

So, to increase your sexyness prior to going out, my advice is to shoot your gun. It will make you feel good, and you'll have an air of attractive feromones around you when you go out. Don't be fooled, though. This is no substitute for good game! It is not a magic pill! If you are needy, unhappy and outcome dependent, you will still go home alone. So get out of your head and have some fun with the girls instead.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Isolation Drillcamp

Player...SHUN! (Stand at ATTENTION when your drill seargent is speaking to you!)

I hear you faggots aren't isolating anymore... I hear some of you complain that you never HOOK or you've got double A... Hell, I even hear some of you say that you are too SMOOTH for that... Well I'll tell you the only thing smooth about that is the CRACK up your ASS!

When you have opened, and IF you loosers even hook, YOU... WILL... ISOLATE! Heck, even if you DON'T hook, you WILL isolate! Go... for... i-so-lation! ALWAYS! No excuses!

I don't give a rats ass if you faggots don't know what you have to do AFTER you isolate, as long as you ISOLATE! I don't give a fuck if you girls are too afraid to even open, as long as you ISOLATE! And if you shitheads don't hook when you isolate, well, then TRY AGAIN until you make it or GET rejected!

You have TWO days to complete this task (that should be more than enough for your weekend leave), and if I hear you sacks of SHIT haven't isolated during the time alotted, you get ONE WEEK in the brig!

This is no bloody ISOLATION VACATION, you scumbags! Now get your asses out there and ISOLATE!

DISMISSED!

Oh.. And please leave a report about how it went at the HQ (yeah in the comments, dumbass).

* You isolate your target (i.e. the girl you want) by bringing her away from the set (i.e her friends) after you open. There are many ways to do this. In most cases you will want to bring her a short distance away from the set, and have her back turned to them so that she can't readily communicate with them (e.g. trough eye coding). When she can't see them, there is less social pressure on her, and thus she can become more "private" with you.

You may also bring her to an adjacent table, or to a dark corner to make out or to "show her something" (usually something comfort relatet like The Cube - but me, I just go for close). And yet another popular way to isolate is to "go out for some fresh air". If you get her that far, though, you might as well go for extraction (i.e. bring her home, or whatever).

* You "hook" the set when you get their attention and they listen readily to what you have to say. You actually don't need to hook before you isolate. The act of isolation may in fact be your hook point. If you wonder about this one, read my other article about The Only IOI You Will Ever Need.

* Double A, AA = Approach Anxiety, i.e. a totally illogical uneasyness. The cure? Just have fun and mingle.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Only IOI You Will Ever Need

If the girl still stands there listening to you after you've done whatever you've done, it means she loves you. In my humble opinion you don't need to pay attention to any other IOI's.
  1. If the girl still stands there after you hook her: Kiss or isolate her.
  2. If the girl still stands there after you isolate her: Kiss her!
  3. If the girl still stands there after you kiss her: Take her with you.
  4. If the girl comes with you - she will follow you wherever you lead, so then, make her come.
If there is one or some of these points you can't get past, then do some research and try again with a new girl.

Glory is only for those who dare!

She doesn't have to actually say or do anything, as long as she's attentive. That is the only IOI you'll ever need, and the only one I look for. Now if she smiles, or does a twirly-wirly in her hair, or touches me back - well, that's a nice bonus. But why should I care? It's only closing that will get her back to my place anyway.

This thing is thoroughly tested and really works. If she still stands there listening to you after you've done your thing - she is ready for escalation. It is actually mindboggeling how fast you can escalate with this in mind. You can get away with a pull in minutes or seconds this way. In fact, the only thing that can possibly mess up this thing, is hesitation.

Just go by the numbers, step by step. So, you've presented yourself. Well, then it's time to (1 and 2) kiss or isolate (depending on if isolation is really nescessary). Now, kissing is really boring in the long run, so what you really want is to (3) extract her. And if she's OK with that, then (4) go for glory.

My frame is that of experimentation. I want to see how far I can get before I get rejected. So if I do, I know exactly what I need to work on until I meet the next girl.

Often she will shit-test when you come onto her very fast. Mostly, however, she will be thoroughly impressed by your balls. I don't see how you can be more direct and unapologetic than this.

BTW, here's another note: If she "stands there" with her back turned to you... Well, that isn't going to do you much good, is it?

And somebody asked about kino? Well, kino's actually optional. But without kino chances are you won't close either. :p Unless you only go for a numberclose - which is totally fine! Please do go for numberclose! Don't forget that number! Actually, do it as early as possible, so that if you loose her, or whatever, you can call her back so that you can get rejected a second time.

People who say they don't go for numberclose are LAME!

* The term IOI stands for "Indicator of Interest" and comes from the Pick-Up community, popularized in the book The Game by Neil Strauss.

The Art of Trial vs. Needyness

I had a very interresting discussion with a friend lately about what makes pickup work or not.

I noticed that when I was just experimenting with what I could get away with, I got a lot better results than when I needed to get somewhere specific with a girl.

Whenever I started to need the girl, I would loose her - just like that. I could even start out experimenting, but then I'd fall for her - because of her smell, or the way she looked - and the moment this happened, she would walk off or push me away and I ended up with yet another rejection (which is good, by the way, since you only learn by going for close).

But when I was only experimenting, when I just wanted to see where things might lead me, I would get away with it.

The conversaton could go like this: I open her, and hook. Since she's still standing there, I'm assuming that she is in love with me, but just standing there gets old quickly, so I want to see if she will let me isolate her. Good. That was no problem, so we get seated and talk some more. Then talking becomes boring, and I start wondering if she would let me kiss her. So I try, and "Oh Glory" it works! But making out also gets boring. Really, it does! At least when you do it often enough. So I start to wonder if she would like to come with me, either home - hehe - or even to the toilet. Well, the only way I will find out, is by testing, so I get up, and reach out my hand to her. And lo and behold, she grabs my hand, and we're off.

When you need a woman, she will notice and back away. Why should they waste time on someone who can't take care of them, and only wishes to use them? This is the reason women don't respond well to needy men, ironic as it may seem.

Now, when you're just testing, and trying to see where a certain move might lead you, the only need you have is to learn. You don't need the woman - not in a direct way, since all you wish to do is learn more, about her, about yourself and what you're capable of, and of life and the art of pickup. You don't need her spesifically, since there are literally millions of other women you can run this test on - and that is also why i think they respond well to it. They can feel the abundance you have, and know that they had better come with you, or you will leave with someone else.