The Ladder

So you want to find out if she wants to have sex with you? Then I present to you The Ladder (of Escalation).

#1 Open, attract and hook her into a conversation with you.

Remember, if she's talking to you, it's the only IOI you'll ever need.

I'm of course assuming here that you're a confident opener and that you are able to hook the girl you want and get into a conversation with her. At the very least she has to be paying attention to what you have to say. The ability to do this rests entirely on your own skill in attraction.

Another thing you should know is that it's not what you say, but how you act that will attract her. This is again highly governed by your state, and your ability to dance in the moment. For more on how to be in the moment, I highly recommend reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

#2 Make her comfy with your touch.

This is an important step, and really something you want to do right off the bat - heck, even before you start speaking to her. Remember, we've only had spoken language for so long, but touch is what will make your cat purr.

Just don't be creepy. A sure way of coming off as creepy is to be too timid, but it will also be creepy if it seems forced.

#3 Go for isolation.

Get her with you either to the dance floor, or get her seated away from her friends - and yours. A mini-isolation, just taking her a few steps away from her group and facing her back at them, will also work if she's hot for you.

This is one of the most important things that you will do. However, there's a pickup maxime, "Change Her Mood, Not Her Mind!" If she doesn't want to even move a few metres with you, you'll have to see how long you want to try to get her in a better mood before you give it a second go. And if that doesn't work, you are really better off finding another girl than getting into something that at best will be one way communication, or at worst a needy attempt to pull the girl by force.

#4 Escalate into makeout.

This one is also pretty important, if you don't want the whole thing to end in a number close. If you can't see it in her eyes, it's always a safe bet to make her hot first by kissing her in the neck. So far I've never been stopped when doing this. Also, if she denies me her lips or turns away at first, I usually work her neck a little first to heat her up. This - with some teasing - usually ends in a makeout.

If she keeps denying you, it may be because she's shy or she thinks too many people are looking. Especially if you're too close to her friends, this can pose a problem. In that case: Move to a more discrete place.

Persistence is key here, but don't overdo it either. If she really doesn't want you, she'll say no, push you away or get angry. Only then is it time to stop.

#5 Don't make out for too long. Stop after a while.

If you're not at home, you shouldn't make out for too long, as the fire will die out after a while. When she's not horny anymore, the validation she got from making out with you is enough for her, so don't let that happen. Stop a little bit before it gets too comfortable, and...

#6 Take her home.

...Or wherever it is you'd like to take her.

Now, if she doesn't want to come with you at this point, don't sweat it. Sometimes you'll just have to lead her. Take her hand and lead. It honestly doesn't matter where. Soon enough you will find a private spot.

Even if you can't get her to come home with you, if you've got this far, she'll probably want to see you again anyway. So just take her number, smile, and let her walk away with her friends.

Then when you find your private spot, just undress her while you kiss.

Break a leg!

How to use The Ladder

The Ladder is only a description of a minimum of recommended steps to get you where you want to be, to get her to bed. It's not the ONLY way of getting laid, but if you've never gotten laid before, or you're having trouble getting trough the process, looking at where you are on The Ladder is a great way of understanding what you have to work with. It simply gives you hints for what you can read up on, and go out and train for. And in truth, the only thing you really need is experience - and you only get that by getting out of your house and into conversations with women where you escalate and go for close.

Remember: The Field is KING!