Wing Rules

Here is a question I get a lot:

"What to do when your friend buts in on the women you're talking to?"

The answer is really quite simple. Talk to your friend about it, preferably before you go out and when you're both sober.

Here's what I'd do, step by step:

1. Tell him what you do not like
2. Tell him about the behaviour you want
3. Tell him what benefits he can expect back
4. Make sure you come to an aggreement

If the same behavour still ensues, then just dump him. Simply do not contact him again. Or at least don't go out with him.

Another good idea is to have some common rules. Your wing don't even have to know about PU, as long as you aggree about expected behavour in the field.

Some simple wing rules

§1 If something is unclear, just ask.

It's always good to be discrete, though, and thus whispering is a good idea. Not only does it keep the interaction discrete, but it will trigger intrest from the women. Girls are after all suckers for mystery, so this is actually a good way of creating attraction. Keep it short, though. "Who's your target?" is enough.

§2 The one who opens the set, owns the set.

This doesn't mean that you can run around and open all the sets in a room and "own" them. You only own a set you invest in. Still, there should be room for you going to the loo or to the bar. It's not cool to come back and see your wing has taken over your target. However if you're going away for longer, expect the set to become free-for-all unless you clearly say you want a particular girl.

§3 Accept rejection.

If you're clearly rejected, be prepared for the girl going for another man, or even your wing. Accept it. This is not the same as your wing butting in or taking over.

§4 Do not bother your wing.

The most important rule of all. If your wing is one-on-one with a girl, do not bother him. In fact it's probably better to just steer clear of him, maybe except if you see an obstacle, like a cockblock, clearly butting in. Even then it's polite to wait until you're invited into the set.

§5 Even if he's making a fool of himself.

Sometimes it may seem like your wing is making a fool of himself. Let him. It's a learning experience. Just enjoy the show and wait to talk about it until you're home. The only exception is if he's about to get his head kicked in. Then you should of course go get him.

§6 Wait to be included.

If the set is small, it's always polite for the wing not to barge in, and wait to be included into the set.

§7 Talk to obstacles, not your wing's target.

Even if you're included into a set, focus on other people than your wing's target. If you babble away at your wing's target, you're just belittling him. Remember, he invited you to take care of obstacles, and not to become one yourself. Keep it short. Introduce yourself, and find someone else to talk to - preferably an obstacle to your wing.

§8 Good behaviour.

Good wing behaviour is about amping up social proof. You do this by being cool to your friends. Smile and pat your friend on the back if he's one-on-one with a girl, but don't stay. If you're on your way to the bar, ask if he want's a drink.

This is all good behaviour that shows the girl he's talking to that he's got really good friends, thus amping his social proof. Don't worry about seeming beta while doing it. He'll pay back the favour.

§9 Forget about "Accomplishment Intros".

If you're inviting a wing into your set, forget about "Accomplishment Intros" and other bullshit. Usually stuff like that is construed as bragging, or even worse as subtle tooling. Keep it short and humble. Simply tell your set that he's a good friend of yours, and present him to everyone like any normal and polite person would.

Usually it's better to be a normal and even little humble, than acting up and trying to impress people. While you're at it, forget about DHV's too. Instead focus on what you like and want. Take pride in who you are and be confident that you're already good enough.

§10 Don't talk about PU.

This is not a strict rule, but since PU analysis in the field can really kill state, it should be avoided like the plague unless it's just general conversation. Instead focus on having fun.

Caveat

The important thing here is not to follow these exact rules, but to talk to your wing and come to an aggreement about expected behaviour in the field. Sometimes you have to make compromises, but if your friend's behaviour bother you, and he has no plans of coming to an aggreement with you, then he's probably not much worth keeping either.

If you have wildly diverging views upon field behaviour, it's not cool and it will most likely end with one or both of you getting irritated. The worst case scenario is that you end up as enemies, or end up giving or receiving a beating for being an ass.

Nexting A Girl Is Nexting Yourself

Nexting a girl is really nexting yourself.

No doubt, if the girl is rude or annoying, sure, just next her. But too many times guys next women they are unsure of just bacause they're afraid of rejection. Instead of taking it all the way to check if she's really interested, they next her or eject prematurely from the set to save their fragile egos. What they don't realise is that they just rejected themselves.

If the girl hasn't yet rejected you, it's better to stay in there and find out if she really likes you. Nexting her is simply a mechanism to circumvent fear of rejection in lieu of taking action. In effect you're tricking the brain to think that you're taking action, but instead you're just fooling yourself.

To highlight what you're missing out on when you prematurely next a girl, it's possible to use something called Game Theory (not to be confused with "having game" or even "pickup"). It's a huge and complicated field, but don't worry, I'll keep it real simple.

I assume the goal of your interaction with the girl is that you want to score with her, aka fclose, aka have sex with her. In order to get where you want, it's often good to have a clear strategy, and finding the best strategy is what Game Theory excels at.

So, now that we know what you want (your goal, i.e. sex), we can put any action that is supposed to lead to the goal into a simple consequence oriented matrix. I won't draw it up for you this time, but you can draw it up for almost any goal. It's great for finding the best possible strategy to get whatever you want by analyzing the consequences of your action compared to your opponent's.

Now, let's get started. If you draw this up, you'll see that you have a couple of actions before you. Most likely she will do nothing, as women are women, and they expect the man to act. That leaves the desicion to you, and to get to your goal, you have two options:

1. To hang in there and find out if she's interested or not
2. To next her and save yourself the embarrasment

What's the one action that is most likely to lead to your goal (i.e. sex)? Sure, there is a risk that she will reject you if you stay in there. Probably it will hurt a bit too, but you're in this to learn, so no matter what you'll at least get something out of it. However if you next her, you'll just never know. You'll probably feel better about it, but in reality you have fooled yourself. Worst of all, you are hiding the fact that you're really a coward behind "taking action", that you're taking action to next her.

So to get to your goal, you at least have to give your goal a chance by accepting risk. And if it's any consolation, if you hang in there and escalate, you'll at least not be a coward. The great part, however, is that women think escalation is very sexy, and to a degree also persistence. It's ingrained in them to think in this way because it simply shows a winning attitude. That is also why women frown so much upon men that don't call them back. Most of the time it's because the men are afraid of rejection, and well, if they're afraid of rejection, the women reason, they must be losers.

Thus, if you haven't yet been rejected, or you're unsure of the girl, then hang in there. Tease her mercilessly and escalate until you get a clear answer, lest you be a coward.

Happy hunting!

* Nexting: The act of moving on from a girl, or ejecting from a set with a girl and opening another. In effect it's an equivalent to ditching a girl. It's totally OK to next women who are rude or waste your time, but too many guys use nexting as an excuse to save their egos for fear of rejection.