A human alpha is liked, looked up to and trusted by his group (and often also outside his group). He did not get his status by using brute force. He got it by being dependable, thrustworthy and wise (and sometimes clever and insidious).
News flash: A human alpha does not have to be the actual leader of the group.
He does not need to be the strongest man. He only needs to be strong enough to be respected. His real power comes trough his social proof and his ability to lead other men, and he is only granted this power because he is trusted and liked. He's got such charisma because he takes care of other people by making them feel special and safe - but never in a validation seeking or qualifying way. He's also got this trust because his group know he will (most likely) remain calm and make the right decision when a crisis strikes, and solve potential conflicts withouth having to use violence.
Simply put, the alpha provides security and stability to his group. In turn he gets an elevated status along with certain perks, for instance not having to pursue women because of his enormous respect and social proof from other people.
Now, alphaness isn't a fixed term. A group may have several alpha candidates, and they will gladly step up and take over if the premiere alpha somehow fails. But the most successful groups are the ones where several alphas cooperate for the greater good (though, with the caveat of divide and conquer).
In any case, if you can provide security and stability, you also provide a perfect environment to raise children, and thus women will chase you. Having good genes and a great body isn't enough in the long run, although such traits are also coveted by women, and thus it may lead to infideliy. If you are a young champion, you may not need to be established in the group, but in order for women to want to invest in you, you still need to show a great deal of alpha behaviour, like security, dependability and social savvy (this includes sexual confidence, and the ability to calmly comunicate your fetishes to her). Being a good candidate for an alpha position is enough to get female attention.
Knowing your weaknesses isn't being beta. It's a sign of strenght. Even alphas aren't perfect and sometimes submit to insecurity, but alphas usually snap out of such behaviour quickly because they are aware of how destructive it is.
A true beta, or maybe theta, is insecure, validation seeking and shows supplicating behaviour because he lacks experience or self respect - or maybe both - and he may not even be aware of those weaknesses. Betas are also dangerous in that they can be strong, but being insecure they constantly need to show off their strength and bully others in order to feel good about themselves, if they don't just submit completely and hold the heads as low as possible as to avoid any conflict.
Such behaviour does not entail trust, nor security or stability, and the result is often conflict and sometimes even death. This is why the alpha always have the moral upper hand when fighting a beta. Even if he loses, the group (led by the alpha candidates) will gather around him and fight the oppression. Cowardly betas, on the other hand, are often liked by stronger men, as they are easily moulded into lackeys and followers (even thought they cannot be trusted to do anything demanding).
Thus, the best way to work on becoming more alpha, is to fight your own insecurity (getting healthy and working out is usually the best first step here), learn about self respect and social norms and work on making others feel good without supplicating or qualifying. Then you can know that your work will be rewarded with esteem, tons of social proof and eventually women that chase you without you having to make the slightest effort to do any PU.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wing Rules
Here is a question I get a lot:
"What to do when your friend buts in on the women you're talking to?"
The answer is really quite simple. Talk to your friend about it, preferably before you go out and when you're both sober.
Here's what I'd do, step by step:
Another good idea is to have some common rules. Your wing don't even have to know about PU, as long as you aggree about expected behavour in the field.
Some simple wing rules
§1 If something is unclear, just ask.
It's always good to be discrete, though, and thus whispering is a good idea. Not only does it keep the interaction discrete, but it will trigger intrest from the women. Girls are after all suckers for mystery, so this is actually a good way of creating attraction. Keep it short, though. "Who's your target?" is enough.
§2 The one who opens the set, owns the set.
This doesn't mean that you can run around and open all the sets in a room and "own" them. You only own a set you invest in. Still, there should be room for you going to the loo or to the bar. It's not cool to come back and see your wing has taken over your target. However if you're going away for longer, expect the set to become free-for-all unless you clearly say you want a particular girl.
§3 Accept rejection.
If you're clearly rejected, be prepared for the girl going for another man, or even your wing. Accept it. This is not the same as your wing butting in or taking over.
§4 Do not bother your wing.
The most important rule of all. If your wing is one-on-one with a girl, do not bother him. In fact it's probably better to just steer clear of him, maybe except if you see an obstacle, like a cockblock, clearly butting in. Even then it's polite to wait until you're invited into the set.
§5 Even if he's making a fool of himself.
Sometimes it may seem like your wing is making a fool of himself. Let him. It's a learning experience. Just enjoy the show and wait to talk about it until you're home. The only exception is if he's about to get his head kicked in. Then you should of course go get him.
§6 Wait to be included.
If the set is small, it's always polite for the wing not to barge in, and wait to be included into the set.
§7 Talk to obstacles, not your wing's target.
Even if you're included into a set, focus on other people than your wing's target. If you babble away at your wing's target, you're just belittling him. Remember, he invited you to take care of obstacles, and not to become one yourself. Keep it short. Introduce yourself, and find someone else to talk to - preferably an obstacle to your wing.
§8 Good behaviour.
Good wing behaviour is about amping up social proof. You do this by being cool to your friends. Smile and pat your friend on the back if he's one-on-one with a girl, but don't stay. If you're on your way to the bar, ask if he want's a drink.
This is all good behaviour that shows the girl he's talking to that he's got really good friends, thus amping his social proof. Don't worry about seeming beta while doing it. He'll pay back the favour.
§9 Forget about "Accomplishment Intros".
If you're inviting a wing into your set, forget about "Accomplishment Intros" and other bullshit. Usually stuff like that is construed as bragging, or even worse as subtle tooling. Keep it short and humble. Simply tell your set that he's a good friend of yours, and present him to everyone like any normal and polite person would.
Usually it's better to be a normal and even little humble, than acting up and trying to impress people. While you're at it, forget about DHV's too. Instead focus on what you like and want. Take pride in who you are and be confident that you're already good enough.
§10 Don't talk about PU.
This is not a strict rule, but since PU analysis in the field can really kill state, it should be avoided like the plague unless it's just general conversation. Instead focus on having fun.
Caveat
The important thing here is not to follow these exact rules, but to talk to your wing and come to an aggreement about expected behaviour in the field. Sometimes you have to make compromises, but if your friend's behaviour bother you, and he has no plans of coming to an aggreement with you, then he's probably not much worth keeping either.
If you have wildly diverging views upon field behaviour, it's not cool and it will most likely end with one or both of you getting irritated. The worst case scenario is that you end up as enemies, or end up giving or receiving a beating for being an ass.
"What to do when your friend buts in on the women you're talking to?"
The answer is really quite simple. Talk to your friend about it, preferably before you go out and when you're both sober.
Here's what I'd do, step by step:
- Tell him what you do not like
- Tell him about the behaviour you want
- Tell him what benefits he can expect back
- Make sure you come to an aggreement
Another good idea is to have some common rules. Your wing don't even have to know about PU, as long as you aggree about expected behavour in the field.
Some simple wing rules
§1 If something is unclear, just ask.
It's always good to be discrete, though, and thus whispering is a good idea. Not only does it keep the interaction discrete, but it will trigger intrest from the women. Girls are after all suckers for mystery, so this is actually a good way of creating attraction. Keep it short, though. "Who's your target?" is enough.
§2 The one who opens the set, owns the set.
This doesn't mean that you can run around and open all the sets in a room and "own" them. You only own a set you invest in. Still, there should be room for you going to the loo or to the bar. It's not cool to come back and see your wing has taken over your target. However if you're going away for longer, expect the set to become free-for-all unless you clearly say you want a particular girl.
§3 Accept rejection.
If you're clearly rejected, be prepared for the girl going for another man, or even your wing. Accept it. This is not the same as your wing butting in or taking over.
§4 Do not bother your wing.
The most important rule of all. If your wing is one-on-one with a girl, do not bother him. In fact it's probably better to just steer clear of him, maybe except if you see an obstacle, like a cockblock, clearly butting in. Even then it's polite to wait until you're invited into the set.
§5 Even if he's making a fool of himself.
Sometimes it may seem like your wing is making a fool of himself. Let him. It's a learning experience. Just enjoy the show and wait to talk about it until you're home. The only exception is if he's about to get his head kicked in. Then you should of course go get him.
§6 Wait to be included.
If the set is small, it's always polite for the wing not to barge in, and wait to be included into the set.
§7 Talk to obstacles, not your wing's target.
Even if you're included into a set, focus on other people than your wing's target. If you babble away at your wing's target, you're just belittling him. Remember, he invited you to take care of obstacles, and not to become one yourself. Keep it short. Introduce yourself, and find someone else to talk to - preferably an obstacle to your wing.
§8 Good behaviour.
Good wing behaviour is about amping up social proof. You do this by being cool to your friends. Smile and pat your friend on the back if he's one-on-one with a girl, but don't stay. If you're on your way to the bar, ask if he want's a drink.
This is all good behaviour that shows the girl he's talking to that he's got really good friends, thus amping his social proof. Don't worry about seeming beta while doing it. He'll pay back the favour.
§9 Forget about "Accomplishment Intros".
If you're inviting a wing into your set, forget about "Accomplishment Intros" and other bullshit. Usually stuff like that is construed as bragging, or even worse as subtle tooling. Keep it short and humble. Simply tell your set that he's a good friend of yours, and present him to everyone like any normal and polite person would.
Usually it's better to be a normal and even little humble, than acting up and trying to impress people. While you're at it, forget about DHV's too. Instead focus on what you like and want. Take pride in who you are and be confident that you're already good enough.
§10 Don't talk about PU.
This is not a strict rule, but since PU analysis in the field can really kill state, it should be avoided like the plague unless it's just general conversation. Instead focus on having fun.
Caveat
The important thing here is not to follow these exact rules, but to talk to your wing and come to an aggreement about expected behaviour in the field. Sometimes you have to make compromises, but if your friend's behaviour bother you, and he has no plans of coming to an aggreement with you, then he's probably not much worth keeping either.
If you have wildly diverging views upon field behaviour, it's not cool and it will most likely end with one or both of you getting irritated. The worst case scenario is that you end up as enemies, or end up giving or receiving a beating for being an ass.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Nexting A Girl Is Nexting Yourself
Nexting a girl is really nexting yourself.
No doubt, if the girl is rude or annoying, sure, just next her. But too many times guys next women they are unsure of just bacause they're afraid of rejection. Instead of taking it all the way to check if she's really interested, they next her or eject prematurely from the set to save their fragile egos. What they don't realise is that they just rejected themselves.
If the girl hasn't yet rejected you, it's better to stay in there and find out if she really likes you. Nexting her is simply a mechanism to circumvent fear of rejection in lieu of taking action. In effect you're tricking the brain to think that you're taking action, but instead you're just fooling yourself.
To highlight what you're missing out on when you prematurely next a girl, it's possible to use something called Game Theory (not to be confused with "having game" or even "pickup"). It's a huge and complicated field, but don't worry, I'll keep it real simple.
I assume the goal of your interaction with the girl is that you want to score with her, aka fclose, aka have sex with her. In order to get where you want, it's often good to have a clear strategy, and finding the best strategy is what Game Theory excels at.
So, now that we know what you want (your goal, i.e. sex), we can put any action that is supposed to lead to the goal into a simple consequence oriented matrix. I won't draw it up for you this time, but you can draw it up for almost any goal. It's great for finding the best possible strategy to get whatever you want by analyzing the consequences of your action compared to your opponent's.
Now, let's get started. If you draw this up, you'll see that you have a couple of actions before you. Most likely she will do nothing, as women are women, and they expect the man to act. That leaves the desicion to you, and to get to your goal, you have two options:
So to get to your goal, you at least have to give your goal a chance by accepting risk. And if it's any consolation, if you hang in there and escalate, you'll at least not be a coward. The great part, however, is that women think escalation is very sexy, and to a degree also persistence. It's ingrained in them to think in this way because it simply shows a winning attitude. That is also why women frown so much upon men that don't call them back. Most of the time it's because the men are afraid of rejection, and well, if they're afraid of rejection, the women reason, they must be losers.
Thus, if you haven't yet been rejected, or you're unsure of the girl, then hang in there. Tease her mercilessly and escalate until you get a clear answer, lest you be a coward.
Happy hunting!
* Nexting: The act of moving on from a girl, or ejecting from a set with a girl and opening another. In effect it's an equivalent to ditching a girl. It's totally OK to next women who are rude or waste your time, but too many guys use nexting as an excuse to save their egos for fear of rejection.
No doubt, if the girl is rude or annoying, sure, just next her. But too many times guys next women they are unsure of just bacause they're afraid of rejection. Instead of taking it all the way to check if she's really interested, they next her or eject prematurely from the set to save their fragile egos. What they don't realise is that they just rejected themselves.
If the girl hasn't yet rejected you, it's better to stay in there and find out if she really likes you. Nexting her is simply a mechanism to circumvent fear of rejection in lieu of taking action. In effect you're tricking the brain to think that you're taking action, but instead you're just fooling yourself.
To highlight what you're missing out on when you prematurely next a girl, it's possible to use something called Game Theory (not to be confused with "having game" or even "pickup"). It's a huge and complicated field, but don't worry, I'll keep it real simple.
I assume the goal of your interaction with the girl is that you want to score with her, aka fclose, aka have sex with her. In order to get where you want, it's often good to have a clear strategy, and finding the best strategy is what Game Theory excels at.
So, now that we know what you want (your goal, i.e. sex), we can put any action that is supposed to lead to the goal into a simple consequence oriented matrix. I won't draw it up for you this time, but you can draw it up for almost any goal. It's great for finding the best possible strategy to get whatever you want by analyzing the consequences of your action compared to your opponent's.
Now, let's get started. If you draw this up, you'll see that you have a couple of actions before you. Most likely she will do nothing, as women are women, and they expect the man to act. That leaves the desicion to you, and to get to your goal, you have two options:
- To hang in there and find out if she's interested or not
- To next her and save yourself the embarrasment
So to get to your goal, you at least have to give your goal a chance by accepting risk. And if it's any consolation, if you hang in there and escalate, you'll at least not be a coward. The great part, however, is that women think escalation is very sexy, and to a degree also persistence. It's ingrained in them to think in this way because it simply shows a winning attitude. That is also why women frown so much upon men that don't call them back. Most of the time it's because the men are afraid of rejection, and well, if they're afraid of rejection, the women reason, they must be losers.
Thus, if you haven't yet been rejected, or you're unsure of the girl, then hang in there. Tease her mercilessly and escalate until you get a clear answer, lest you be a coward.
Happy hunting!
* Nexting: The act of moving on from a girl, or ejecting from a set with a girl and opening another. In effect it's an equivalent to ditching a girl. It's totally OK to next women who are rude or waste your time, but too many guys use nexting as an excuse to save their egos for fear of rejection.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Statistics: How to pinpoint your sticking points and get better
It's important to continuously check your progress when trying to get better at picking up women as progress isn't something that happens over night. But in order to get an idea of where things are going, you need to gather statistics on what you do in the field, on both what you master and where you fail.
Here's a list of things you may want to follow up, and why:
Make a note of each time you get one of these and how it went, and then add them up when you've got some data on it, say after a couple of months to track progress. It's also nice to have a quick look at the data each week for motivation. Always try to beat last week's score. Add upp the data, visualize it in any way you want. Track open to close ratio. Behold, you now have a powerful tool to pinpoint your sticking points.
Statistics aren't for looking at isolated incidents, but for finding a pattern, or finding a trend. Therefore you shouldn't look at single happenings. Stop obsessing over that one time. Instead look for the trend of things. For example, if you eject 10 out of 15 times, you have a problem with too early ejection. The fix? Persistence and ploughing, and not least ability to go for close. It's in fact better to get rejected than to eject, as a rejection is a sign that you've used up all your tricks, and that you may have to learn some new ones to get the success you want (or even unlearn some bad habits).
Happy hunting!
Here's a list of things you may want to follow up, and why:
- Open: This one is pretty self evident. If you don't open, you've got a serious learning disability. Ways of getting around this one is reading up on conquering AA or how to give yourself motivation.
- Hook : Did you hook the set (did they at least for a time become positive towards you)? If you don't get these, you're probably doing something wrong when you open.
- Rejection: Were you turned down aggressively or easy? Or did they just ignore you? Depending on how this went down, it could indicate that you're having a problem with delivery, or even ploughing and persistence (staying in the set no matter what). In most cases it's better to be turned down firmly rather than giving up.
- Ejection: Don't tell me you dumped them? Why did you leave? Maybe you should work on getting more persistent. Not that you should stay in a set for hours, but that you push more for close - or even rejection, as a rejection is at least a sign that you are making mistakes, and if you are making mistakes, you are also learning, and learning is progress.
- Pull: Did you pull the girl(s) anywhere? Your ability to pull, to isolate or extract is very important to get the girl into a more private, comfy and therefore more intimate situation.
- Escalation: Did you try to escalate? How soon? Subtly or agressively? Only kino or did you try to kiss her? If you don't escalate, you won't get anything more than numbercloses. And speaking of...
- Close: Did you number close? Did you kiss close? Did you fclose? If you didn't, it could be a clear sign that you've got a closing sticky.
Make a note of each time you get one of these and how it went, and then add them up when you've got some data on it, say after a couple of months to track progress. It's also nice to have a quick look at the data each week for motivation. Always try to beat last week's score. Add upp the data, visualize it in any way you want. Track open to close ratio. Behold, you now have a powerful tool to pinpoint your sticking points.
Statistics aren't for looking at isolated incidents, but for finding a pattern, or finding a trend. Therefore you shouldn't look at single happenings. Stop obsessing over that one time. Instead look for the trend of things. For example, if you eject 10 out of 15 times, you have a problem with too early ejection. The fix? Persistence and ploughing, and not least ability to go for close. It's in fact better to get rejected than to eject, as a rejection is a sign that you've used up all your tricks, and that you may have to learn some new ones to get the success you want (or even unlearn some bad habits).
Happy hunting!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Mission: Become the Charming Guy
Ever seen a truly charming guy? What was he like? How did he do with women?
Being charming is a role you can enter, if you're not already charming by nature. It doesn't mean you'll have to be nice. A charming guy isn't necessarily nice. He's charming! He's probably quite happy teasing you, smiling a lot, poking a bit of fun at you, but all in good nature. A charming guy is simply someone who makes you happy by being slightly assertive, but not necessarily by being overly nice of polite. He's also social and likes to get to know new people, and since he displays a warm and charming smile when approaching, everybody instantly opens up to him.
This charming guy is easy to like. Therefore women will easily accompany you on the dancefloor, or even go outside with you for a breath for fresh air (or whatever it is people do outside nowadays).
Simply put: A charming guy gets into many more situations where it's possible to escalate, either to a makeout, or all the way to sex, than the average joe.
He's fun, and he's a challenge - that's why he's charming. And he's easy to model because most people know how a charming guy is like.
So... Do you think you could be a charming guy for a day? I'm sure you can! In fact I think you should try it out for at least two days, say for Friday and Saturday night, and then come back and tell me how it went.
---
I hereby declare that I (insert nick or name here) will become, or at least model, a charming guy for at least two days, preferably Friday and Saturday night while I'm out meeting people. Upon aggreeing with this, I also declare that I will come back and tell you about my experiencem and how it went being a charming guy.
Being charming is a role you can enter, if you're not already charming by nature. It doesn't mean you'll have to be nice. A charming guy isn't necessarily nice. He's charming! He's probably quite happy teasing you, smiling a lot, poking a bit of fun at you, but all in good nature. A charming guy is simply someone who makes you happy by being slightly assertive, but not necessarily by being overly nice of polite. He's also social and likes to get to know new people, and since he displays a warm and charming smile when approaching, everybody instantly opens up to him.
This charming guy is easy to like. Therefore women will easily accompany you on the dancefloor, or even go outside with you for a breath for fresh air (or whatever it is people do outside nowadays).
Simply put: A charming guy gets into many more situations where it's possible to escalate, either to a makeout, or all the way to sex, than the average joe.
He's fun, and he's a challenge - that's why he's charming. And he's easy to model because most people know how a charming guy is like.
So... Do you think you could be a charming guy for a day? I'm sure you can! In fact I think you should try it out for at least two days, say for Friday and Saturday night, and then come back and tell me how it went.
---
I hereby declare that I (insert nick or name here) will become, or at least model, a charming guy for at least two days, preferably Friday and Saturday night while I'm out meeting people. Upon aggreeing with this, I also declare that I will come back and tell you about my experiencem and how it went being a charming guy.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Ratatas Open Relationship Rules
There really isn't much new to say about how to create open and FB (fuck buddy) relationships. Google "Johnny Soporno" and read his stuff about Seductive Reasoning. It's excellent and not only will it give you great new tools to work with, but it will also give you the power to set women free of the social programming society has put on them until now.
I do however have a few rules of my own when it comes to open relationships.
An open relationship means I can have sex with others, if I want. Of course that also means that she can do the same. Anything else would just be sexist and unfair. Soporno even encourages his girls to do it, as he says, "When I'm not with you, I'm probably with somebody else". I probably take it as far as him, but I do probe her for it, and if I find that it's beginning to become a problem, I talk with her about it.
However, when she's with me, she's with me. I don't want her to start flirting with others in front of me, and I won't flirt with other girls in front of her.
The only exception is of course if we're trying to get a threesome. (And getting a threesome when you have a lover is, as I was thought by my friend Warpig from the Norwegian Lair, extremely simple. Again, it's really just about asking politely for it.)
Further more, I don't talk about my other sex-adventures, and I expect the same of her. Why would there be any need to discuss it? After all, the time we spend together is about me and her, not me and some other girl.
I'll gladly help her with her love life, though. To me, that's an entirely different thing. If she wants emotional attachment beyond friendship, I'm usually not the guy. And if I fealt that way about a particular girl, I'd probably end other "lover" relationships and go exclusive. But that's not to say that my sexual encounters with my lovers aren't romantic. There is just not such an emotional feeling of attachment.
Of course, in the end it's just that kind of emotional connections I'm looking for; to find that special girl, my soulmate. But until I find her, I don't see the need to limit myself by going into exclusive relationships that would probably get torn apart with cheating and jealousy anyway. It's my experience so far that being honest about your intentions up front is far better, and will quell any rampant emotions and drama.
I do however have a few rules of my own when it comes to open relationships.
An open relationship means I can have sex with others, if I want. Of course that also means that she can do the same. Anything else would just be sexist and unfair. Soporno even encourages his girls to do it, as he says, "When I'm not with you, I'm probably with somebody else". I probably take it as far as him, but I do probe her for it, and if I find that it's beginning to become a problem, I talk with her about it.
However, when she's with me, she's with me. I don't want her to start flirting with others in front of me, and I won't flirt with other girls in front of her.
The only exception is of course if we're trying to get a threesome. (And getting a threesome when you have a lover is, as I was thought by my friend Warpig from the Norwegian Lair, extremely simple. Again, it's really just about asking politely for it.)
Further more, I don't talk about my other sex-adventures, and I expect the same of her. Why would there be any need to discuss it? After all, the time we spend together is about me and her, not me and some other girl.
I'll gladly help her with her love life, though. To me, that's an entirely different thing. If she wants emotional attachment beyond friendship, I'm usually not the guy. And if I fealt that way about a particular girl, I'd probably end other "lover" relationships and go exclusive. But that's not to say that my sexual encounters with my lovers aren't romantic. There is just not such an emotional feeling of attachment.
Of course, in the end it's just that kind of emotional connections I'm looking for; to find that special girl, my soulmate. But until I find her, I don't see the need to limit myself by going into exclusive relationships that would probably get torn apart with cheating and jealousy anyway. It's my experience so far that being honest about your intentions up front is far better, and will quell any rampant emotions and drama.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
A Few Notes on Escalation
Go French (make out) first. Doesn't matter where you are. Just go for close.
If you are denied, don't fret and go for the neck and kiss her there until she's ready for a make out.
If you are denied again, don't fret, continue as normal, and try again later. If it's an issue, go somewhere more private when you do this, or make her feel hot first by physically teasing her with tickeling or making her give you a massage, and so on.
If you're still being denied, and she's obviously into you, ask her what's wrong.
This also applies to sexual escalation. Try, try, and try again with a twist. If it doesn't work, ask her what's wrong.
Communication is sexy. It will also make her trust you - and believe me, she won't go to bed with you if she doesn't trust you, so don't be afraid to communicate with her. If she's going home with you, and not getting naked with you - then you need to know what's wrong if you want to stop wasting time.
The part about not fretting, or making a big deal about being denied, is important. The maxime goes like this: "If you make a big deal of it, she will make a big deal of it." So don't make a big deal about it! Just continue as normal.
And remember: A girl expects a man to escalate. If you're on a date and you don't escalate, she will most likely feel very disappointed. She may even get down right angry with you, or show signs of passive aggressiveness later on. So go for close, dude! Always!
If you are denied, don't fret and go for the neck and kiss her there until she's ready for a make out.
If you are denied again, don't fret, continue as normal, and try again later. If it's an issue, go somewhere more private when you do this, or make her feel hot first by physically teasing her with tickeling or making her give you a massage, and so on.
If you're still being denied, and she's obviously into you, ask her what's wrong.
This also applies to sexual escalation. Try, try, and try again with a twist. If it doesn't work, ask her what's wrong.
Communication is sexy. It will also make her trust you - and believe me, she won't go to bed with you if she doesn't trust you, so don't be afraid to communicate with her. If she's going home with you, and not getting naked with you - then you need to know what's wrong if you want to stop wasting time.
The part about not fretting, or making a big deal about being denied, is important. The maxime goes like this: "If you make a big deal of it, she will make a big deal of it." So don't make a big deal about it! Just continue as normal.
And remember: A girl expects a man to escalate. If you're on a date and you don't escalate, she will most likely feel very disappointed. She may even get down right angry with you, or show signs of passive aggressiveness later on. So go for close, dude! Always!
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