Nexting A Girl Is Nexting Yourself

Nexting a girl is really nexting yourself.

No doubt, if the girl is rude or annoying, sure, just next her. But too many times guys next women they are unsure of just bacause they're afraid of rejection. Instead of taking it all the way to check if she's really interested, they next her or eject prematurely from the set to save their fragile egos. What they don't realise is that they just rejected themselves.

If the girl hasn't yet rejected you, it's better to stay in there and find out if she really likes you. Nexting her is simply a mechanism to circumvent fear of rejection in lieu of taking action. In effect you're tricking the brain to think that you're taking action, but instead you're just fooling yourself.

To highlight what you're missing out on when you prematurely next a girl, it's possible to use something called Game Theory (not to be confused with "having game" or even "pickup"). It's a huge and complicated field, but don't worry, I'll keep it real simple.

I assume the goal of your interaction with the girl is that you want to score with her, aka fclose, aka have sex with her. In order to get where you want, it's often good to have a clear strategy, and finding the best strategy is what Game Theory excels at.

So, now that we know what you want (your goal, i.e. sex), we can put any action that is supposed to lead to the goal into a simple consequence oriented matrix. I won't draw it up for you this time, but you can draw it up for almost any goal. It's great for finding the best possible strategy to get whatever you want by analyzing the consequences of your action compared to your opponent's.

Now, let's get started. If you draw this up, you'll see that you have a couple of actions before you. Most likely she will do nothing, as women are women, and they expect the man to act. That leaves the desicion to you, and to get to your goal, you have two options:

1. To hang in there and find out if she's interested or not
2. To next her and save yourself the embarrasment

What's the one action that is most likely to lead to your goal (i.e. sex)? Sure, there is a risk that she will reject you if you stay in there. Probably it will hurt a bit too, but you're in this to learn, so no matter what you'll at least get something out of it. However if you next her, you'll just never know. You'll probably feel better about it, but in reality you have fooled yourself. Worst of all, you are hiding the fact that you're really a coward behind "taking action", that you're taking action to next her.

So to get to your goal, you at least have to give your goal a chance by accepting risk. And if it's any consolation, if you hang in there and escalate, you'll at least not be a coward. The great part, however, is that women think escalation is very sexy, and to a degree also persistence. It's ingrained in them to think in this way because it simply shows a winning attitude. That is also why women frown so much upon men that don't call them back. Most of the time it's because the men are afraid of rejection, and well, if they're afraid of rejection, the women reason, they must be losers.

Thus, if you haven't yet been rejected, or you're unsure of the girl, then hang in there. Tease her mercilessly and escalate until you get a clear answer, lest you be a coward.

Happy hunting!

* Nexting: The act of moving on from a girl, or ejecting from a set with a girl and opening another. In effect it's an equivalent to ditching a girl. It's totally OK to next women who are rude or waste your time, but too many guys use nexting as an excuse to save their egos for fear of rejection.

Statistics: How to pinpoint your sticking points and get better

It's important to continuously check your progress when trying to get better at picking up women as progress isn't something that happens over night. But in order to get an idea of where things are going, you need to gather statistics on what you do in the field, on both what you master and where you fail.

Here's a list of things you may want to follow up, and why:

• Open: This one is pretty self evident. If you don't open, you've got a serious learning disability. Ways of getting around this one is reading up on conquering AA or how to give yourself motivation.
• Hook : Did you hook the set (did they at least for a time become positive towards you)? If you don't get these, you're probably doing something wrong when you open.
• Rejection: Were you turned down aggressively or easy? Or did they just ignore you? Depending on how this went down, it could indicate that you're having a problem with delivery, or even ploughing and persistence (staying in the set no matter what). In most cases it's better to be turned down firmly rather than giving up.
• Ejection: Don't tell me you dumped them? Why did you leave? Maybe you should work on getting more persistent. Not that you should stay in a set for hours, but that you push more for close - or even rejection, as a rejection is at least a sign that you are making mistakes, and if you are making mistakes, you are also learning, and learning is progress.
  
• Pull: Did you pull the girl(s) anywhere? Your ability to pull, to isolate or extract is very important to get the girl into a more private, comfy and therefore more intimate situation.
• Escalation: Did you try to escalate? How soon? Subtly or agressively? Only kino or did you try to kiss her? If you don't escalate, you won't get anything more than numbercloses. And speaking of...
• Close: Did you number close? Did you kiss close? Did you fclose? If you didn't, it could be a clear sign that you've got a closing sticky.

Now these are just suggestions on what you can follow up upon. If nothing else, use it for motivation. My friend COCPORN made a system where you get XP for opens and closes and made it into a game on the Internet. You get a little XP for an open and 250XP for an fclose (the Holy Grail of pickup). So if you're a World of Warcraft addict, this may be the thing that saves you and gets you back to real life. :p

Make a note of each time you get one of these and how it went, and then add them up when you've got some data on it, say after a couple of months to track progress. It's also nice to have a quick look at the data each week for motivation. Always try to beat last week's score. Add upp the data, visualize it in any way you want. Track open to close ratio. Behold, you now have a powerful tool to pinpoint your sticking points.

Statistics aren't for looking at isolated incidents, but for finding a pattern, or finding a trend. Therefore you shouldn't look at single happenings. Stop obsessing over that one time. Instead look for the trend of things. For example, if you eject 10 out of 15 times, you have a problem with too early ejection. The fix? Persistence and ploughing, and not least ability to go for close. It's in fact better to get rejected than to eject, as a rejection is a sign that you've used up all your tricks, and that you may have to learn some new ones to get the success you want (or even unlearn some bad habits).

Happy hunting!