Reasons for Escalating: Part 1

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Subtlety

A great thing about escalation is that it doesn't have to mean leaning in for the kiss. Going in for a kiss is after all a very bold all-or-nothing move, and hence it's easier to get turned down. Still it can be a very powerful move when the conditions are right, though it's probably not the best move if you're in a social setting or her friends are nearby.

Luckily, if you don't feel up to it, there are ways around it, and there are ways of escalation to find out if she's ready that are much more subtle. Also, knowing that you don't have to be overt actually makes it a lot simpler to escalate.

Personally I found this out by accident back when I was a student, but also 60 Years of Challenge has explained this one particularly well. In essence, all you need to do, is find out if she likes holding hands with you. A slight touch can be enough. If she strokes or squeeses back, then she's into you, and you can safely escalate further if the situation allows it. But even if the surroundinc circumstances aren't perfect, if the hand escalation went well, she'll be much more likely to comply with other stuff also, so just invite her to come with you somewhere more private. Many say you have to lead her since that is more alpha, but I find that inviting her is even mroe powerful as it instigates a psychological effect that the Professor and researcher in Psychology, Robert Cialdini, calls Commitment and Consistency. Thus if she commits to something, she's more likely to also go trough with it. Another reason to not bother dealing with women that aren't fully into you.

The great thing about such subtle moves is that you can do it in almost any situation, and only you and her will notice. That it happens in a social setting makes it extra exciting because you have a secret together. It creates a kind of bubble for the two of you that binds you closer together. Best of all, you won't feel half as let down if she doesn't comply with your move. It's all under the radar, and you don't need to feel either hurt or disqualified about it. In fact, even if you didn't get into the warmth the first time, you still get more chances as not getting compliance on a subtle move isn't the same as being verbally turned down.

Also, flirting with her in such a hidden way tells her a very positive thing about you: That you're discrete and probably experienced. In turn that makes you safer to have casual sex with since she knows that she won't have to worry about you blurting stuff out to friends. Also, since you seem experienced, she knows that she is less likely to have a nagging and needy guy on her shoulders afterwards. Not that these things exclude the possibility of something more serious. If you want, you can still go for that, and in fact doing it makes you that much more of a good catch to her.

Next: RFE Part 2: Why Escalating Is Sexy (coming soon)

Reasons for Escalating

Introduction

Escalating is probably an even more angst-ridden act than opening, and the reason is of course that there is a real probability that you'll get turned down. But even if there is such a chance, there are still plenty of reasons to escalate.

So what is escalation good for anyway?

It might seem like there's an obvious answer to that, but there's good reason to look trough it anyway. There are in fact more than one reason to escalate.

The most obvious one is of course to turn her on and have sex. Yet this doesn't really help you when you're in a social setting. You can't usually have sex with her if you don't have a minimum of privacy.

Two other reasons to escalate is to show her your intention, and last but not least, to subtly test if she's ready for more. It's these two kinds of escalation this article is going to focus on.

A Major Caveat

Before we start, a major caveat. This article is about how to be sexy while escalating, not rape. The goal of the article is to teach you how to escalate in a respectful way. It assumes that you manage to do so, and that you do accept no for an answer. While being bold and direct is very sexy, being needy, intrusive or even violent isn't. If she gets angry or pushes you physically away, you're doing something wrong. Then please stop before you hurt someone.

On the other hand, many men are affraid that they will take things too far, and while it is a real concern, take comfort in that women will let you know if you do something wrong. Thus, if she's not angry or resisting you physically, then you are most likely free to escalate further. A good example is the woman asking you stuff like "What are you doing?" while smiling, or telling you stuff like "We shouldn't be doing this" while still groping you and being seductive. In that case, simply agree, but continue the escalation.

Next: RFE Part 1: Subtlety

Human Alphaness: The Most Misunderstood Topic in PU

A human alpha is liked, looked up to and trusted by his group (and often also outside his group). He did not get his status by using brute force. He got it by being dependable, thrustworthy and wise (and sometimes clever and insidious).

News flash: A human alpha does not have to be the actual leader of the group.

He does not need to be the strongest man. He only needs to be strong enough to be respected. His real power comes trough his social proof and his ability to lead other men, and he is only granted this power because he is trusted and liked. He's got such charisma because he takes care of other people by making them feel special and safe - but never in a validation seeking or qualifying way. He's also got this trust because his group know he will (most likely) remain calm and make the right decision when a crisis strikes, and solve potential conflicts withouth having to use violence.

Simply put, the alpha provides security and stability to his group. In turn he gets an elevated status along with certain perks, for instance not having to pursue women because of his enormous respect and social proof from other people.

Now, alphaness isn't a fixed term. A group may have several alpha candidates, and they will gladly step up and take over if the premiere alpha somehow fails. But the most successful groups are the ones where several alphas cooperate for the greater good (though, with the caveat of divide and conquer).

In any case, if you can provide security and stability, you also provide a perfect environment to raise children, and thus women will chase you. Having good genes and a great body isn't enough in the long run, although such traits are also coveted by women, and thus it may lead to infideliy. If you are a young champion, you may not need to be established in the group, but in order for women to want to invest in you, you still need to show a great deal of alpha behaviour, like security, dependability and social savvy (this includes sexual confidence, and the ability to calmly comunicate your fetishes to her). Being a good candidate for an alpha position is enough to get female attention.

Knowing your weaknesses isn't being beta. It's a sign of strenght. Even alphas aren't perfect and sometimes submit to insecurity, but alphas usually snap out of such behaviour quickly because they are aware of how destructive it is.

A true beta, or maybe theta, is insecure, validation seeking and shows supplicating behaviour because he lacks experience or self respect - or maybe both - and he may not even be aware of those weaknesses. Betas are also dangerous in that they can be strong, but being insecure they constantly need to show off their strength and bully others in order to feel good about themselves, if they don't just submit completely and hold the heads as low as possible as to avoid any conflict.

Such behaviour does not entail trust, nor security or stability, and the result is often conflict and sometimes even death. This is why the alpha always have the moral upper hand when fighting a beta. Even if he loses, the group (led by the alpha candidates) will gather around him and fight the oppression. Cowardly betas, on the other hand, are often liked by stronger men, as they are easily moulded into lackeys and followers (even thought they cannot be trusted to do anything demanding).

Thus, the best way to work on becoming more alpha, is to fight your own insecurity (getting healthy and working out is usually the best first step here), learn about self respect and social norms and work on making others feel good without supplicating or qualifying. Then you can know that your work will be rewarded with esteem, tons of social proof and eventually women that chase you without you having to make the slightest effort to do any PU.

Wing Rules

Here is a question I get a lot:

"What to do when your friend buts in on the women you're talking to?"

The answer is really quite simple. Talk to your friend about it, preferably before you go out and when you're both sober.

Here's what I'd do, step by step:

1. Tell him what you do not like
2. Tell him about the behaviour you want
3. Tell him what benefits he can expect back
4. Make sure you come to an aggreement

If the same behavour still ensues, then just dump him. Simply do not contact him again. Or at least don't go out with him.

Another good idea is to have some common rules. Your wing don't even have to know about PU, as long as you aggree about expected behavour in the field.

Some simple wing rules

§1 If something is unclear, just ask.

It's always good to be discrete, though, and thus whispering is a good idea. Not only does it keep the interaction discrete, but it will trigger intrest from the women. Girls are after all suckers for mystery, so this is actually a good way of creating attraction. Keep it short, though. "Who's your target?" is enough.

§2 The one who opens the set, owns the set.

This doesn't mean that you can run around and open all the sets in a room and "own" them. You only own a set you invest in. Still, there should be room for you going to the loo or to the bar. It's not cool to come back and see your wing has taken over your target. However if you're going away for longer, expect the set to become free-for-all unless you clearly say you want a particular girl.

§3 Accept rejection.

If you're clearly rejected, be prepared for the girl going for another man, or even your wing. Accept it. This is not the same as your wing butting in or taking over.

§4 Do not bother your wing.

The most important rule of all. If your wing is one-on-one with a girl, do not bother him. In fact it's probably better to just steer clear of him, maybe except if you see an obstacle, like a cockblock, clearly butting in. Even then it's polite to wait until you're invited into the set.

§5 Even if he's making a fool of himself.

Sometimes it may seem like your wing is making a fool of himself. Let him. It's a learning experience. Just enjoy the show and wait to talk about it until you're home. The only exception is if he's about to get his head kicked in. Then you should of course go get him.

§6 Wait to be included.

If the set is small, it's always polite for the wing not to barge in, and wait to be included into the set.

§7 Talk to obstacles, not your wing's target.

Even if you're included into a set, focus on other people than your wing's target. If you babble away at your wing's target, you're just belittling him. Remember, he invited you to take care of obstacles, and not to become one yourself. Keep it short. Introduce yourself, and find someone else to talk to - preferably an obstacle to your wing.

§8 Good behaviour.

Good wing behaviour is about amping up social proof. You do this by being cool to your friends. Smile and pat your friend on the back if he's one-on-one with a girl, but don't stay. If you're on your way to the bar, ask if he want's a drink.

This is all good behaviour that shows the girl he's talking to that he's got really good friends, thus amping his social proof. Don't worry about seeming beta while doing it. He'll pay back the favour.

§9 Forget about "Accomplishment Intros".

If you're inviting a wing into your set, forget about "Accomplishment Intros" and other bullshit. Usually stuff like that is construed as bragging, or even worse as subtle tooling. Keep it short and humble. Simply tell your set that he's a good friend of yours, and present him to everyone like any normal and polite person would.

Usually it's better to be a normal and even little humble, than acting up and trying to impress people. While you're at it, forget about DHV's too. Instead focus on what you like and want. Take pride in who you are and be confident that you're already good enough.

§10 Don't talk about PU.

This is not a strict rule, but since PU analysis in the field can really kill state, it should be avoided like the plague unless it's just general conversation. Instead focus on having fun.

Caveat

The important thing here is not to follow these exact rules, but to talk to your wing and come to an aggreement about expected behaviour in the field. Sometimes you have to make compromises, but if your friend's behaviour bother you, and he has no plans of coming to an aggreement with you, then he's probably not much worth keeping either.

If you have wildly diverging views upon field behaviour, it's not cool and it will most likely end with one or both of you getting irritated. The worst case scenario is that you end up as enemies, or end up giving or receiving a beating for being an ass.

Nexting A Girl Is Nexting Yourself

Nexting a girl is really nexting yourself.

No doubt, if the girl is rude or annoying, sure, just next her. But too many times guys next women they are unsure of just bacause they're afraid of rejection. Instead of taking it all the way to check if she's really interested, they next her or eject prematurely from the set to save their fragile egos. What they don't realise is that they just rejected themselves.

If the girl hasn't yet rejected you, it's better to stay in there and find out if she really likes you. Nexting her is simply a mechanism to circumvent fear of rejection in lieu of taking action. In effect you're tricking the brain to think that you're taking action, but instead you're just fooling yourself.

To highlight what you're missing out on when you prematurely next a girl, it's possible to use something called Game Theory (not to be confused with "having game" or even "pickup"). It's a huge and complicated field, but don't worry, I'll keep it real simple.

I assume the goal of your interaction with the girl is that you want to score with her, aka fclose, aka have sex with her. In order to get where you want, it's often good to have a clear strategy, and finding the best strategy is what Game Theory excels at.

So, now that we know what you want (your goal, i.e. sex), we can put any action that is supposed to lead to the goal into a simple consequence oriented matrix. I won't draw it up for you this time, but you can draw it up for almost any goal. It's great for finding the best possible strategy to get whatever you want by analyzing the consequences of your action compared to your opponent's.

Now, let's get started. If you draw this up, you'll see that you have a couple of actions before you. Most likely she will do nothing, as women are women, and they expect the man to act. That leaves the desicion to you, and to get to your goal, you have two options:

1. To hang in there and find out if she's interested or not
2. To next her and save yourself the embarrasment

What's the one action that is most likely to lead to your goal (i.e. sex)? Sure, there is a risk that she will reject you if you stay in there. Probably it will hurt a bit too, but you're in this to learn, so no matter what you'll at least get something out of it. However if you next her, you'll just never know. You'll probably feel better about it, but in reality you have fooled yourself. Worst of all, you are hiding the fact that you're really a coward behind "taking action", that you're taking action to next her.

So to get to your goal, you at least have to give your goal a chance by accepting risk. And if it's any consolation, if you hang in there and escalate, you'll at least not be a coward. The great part, however, is that women think escalation is very sexy, and to a degree also persistence. It's ingrained in them to think in this way because it simply shows a winning attitude. That is also why women frown so much upon men that don't call them back. Most of the time it's because the men are afraid of rejection, and well, if they're afraid of rejection, the women reason, they must be losers.

Thus, if you haven't yet been rejected, or you're unsure of the girl, then hang in there. Tease her mercilessly and escalate until you get a clear answer, lest you be a coward.

Happy hunting!

* Nexting: The act of moving on from a girl, or ejecting from a set with a girl and opening another. In effect it's an equivalent to ditching a girl. It's totally OK to next women who are rude or waste your time, but too many guys use nexting as an excuse to save their egos for fear of rejection.

Statistics: How to pinpoint your sticking points and get better

It's important to continuously check your progress when trying to get better at picking up women as progress isn't something that happens over night. But in order to get an idea of where things are going, you need to gather statistics on what you do in the field, on both what you master and where you fail.

Here's a list of things you may want to follow up, and why:

• Open: This one is pretty self evident. If you don't open, you've got a serious learning disability. Ways of getting around this one is reading up on conquering AA or how to give yourself motivation.
• Hook : Did you hook the set (did they at least for a time become positive towards you)? If you don't get these, you're probably doing something wrong when you open.
• Rejection: Were you turned down aggressively or easy? Or did they just ignore you? Depending on how this went down, it could indicate that you're having a problem with delivery, or even ploughing and persistence (staying in the set no matter what). In most cases it's better to be turned down firmly rather than giving up.
• Ejection: Don't tell me you dumped them? Why did you leave? Maybe you should work on getting more persistent. Not that you should stay in a set for hours, but that you push more for close - or even rejection, as a rejection is at least a sign that you are making mistakes, and if you are making mistakes, you are also learning, and learning is progress.
  
• Pull: Did you pull the girl(s) anywhere? Your ability to pull, to isolate or extract is very important to get the girl into a more private, comfy and therefore more intimate situation.
• Escalation: Did you try to escalate? How soon? Subtly or agressively? Only kino or did you try to kiss her? If you don't escalate, you won't get anything more than numbercloses. And speaking of...
• Close: Did you number close? Did you kiss close? Did you fclose? If you didn't, it could be a clear sign that you've got a closing sticky.

Now these are just suggestions on what you can follow up upon. If nothing else, use it for motivation. My friend COCPORN made a system where you get XP for opens and closes and made it into a game on the Internet. You get a little XP for an open and 250XP for an fclose (the Holy Grail of pickup). So if you're a World of Warcraft addict, this may be the thing that saves you and gets you back to real life. :p

Make a note of each time you get one of these and how it went, and then add them up when you've got some data on it, say after a couple of months to track progress. It's also nice to have a quick look at the data each week for motivation. Always try to beat last week's score. Add upp the data, visualize it in any way you want. Track open to close ratio. Behold, you now have a powerful tool to pinpoint your sticking points.

Statistics aren't for looking at isolated incidents, but for finding a pattern, or finding a trend. Therefore you shouldn't look at single happenings. Stop obsessing over that one time. Instead look for the trend of things. For example, if you eject 10 out of 15 times, you have a problem with too early ejection. The fix? Persistence and ploughing, and not least ability to go for close. It's in fact better to get rejected than to eject, as a rejection is a sign that you've used up all your tricks, and that you may have to learn some new ones to get the success you want (or even unlearn some bad habits).

Happy hunting!

Mission: Become the Charming Guy

Ever seen a truly charming guy? What was he like? How did he do with women?

Being charming is a role you can enter, if you're not already charming by nature. It doesn't mean you'll have to be nice. A charming guy isn't necessarily nice. He's charming! He's probably quite happy teasing you, smiling a lot, poking a bit of fun at you, but all in good nature. A charming guy is simply someone who makes you happy by being slightly assertive, but not necessarily by being overly nice of polite. He's also social and likes to get to know new people, and since he displays a warm and charming smile when approaching, everybody instantly opens up to him.

This charming guy is easy to like. Therefore women will easily accompany you on the dancefloor, or even go outside with you for a breath for fresh air (or whatever it is people do outside nowadays).

Simply put: A charming guy gets into many more situations where it's possible to escalate, either to a makeout, or all the way to sex, than the average joe.

He's fun, and he's a challenge - that's why he's charming. And he's easy to model because most people know how a charming guy is like.

So... Do you think you could be a charming guy for a day? I'm sure you can! In fact I think you should try it out for at least two days, say for Friday and Saturday night, and then come back and tell me how it went.

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I hereby declare that I (insert nick or name here) will become, or at least model, a charming guy for at least two days, preferably Friday and Saturday night while I'm out meeting people. Upon aggreeing with this, I also declare that I will come back and tell you about my experiencem and how it went being a charming guy.

Ratatas Open Relationship Rules

There really isn't much new to say about how to create open and FB (fuck buddy) relationships. Google "Johnny Soporno" and read his stuff about Seductive Reasoning. It's excellent and not only will it give you great new tools to work with, but it will also give you the power to set women free of the social programming society has put on them until now.

I do however have a few rules of my own when it comes to open relationships.

An open relationship means I can have sex with others, if I want. Of course that also means that she can do the same. Anything else would just be sexist and unfair. Soporno even encourages his girls to do it, as he says, "When I'm not with you, I'm probably with somebody else". I probably take it as far as him, but I do probe her for it, and if I find that it's beginning to become a problem, I talk with her about it.

However, when she's with me, she's with me. I don't want her to start flirting with others in front of me, and I won't flirt with other girls in front of her.

The only exception is of course if we're trying to get a threesome. (And getting a threesome when you have a lover is, as I was thought by my friend Warpig from the Norwegian Lair, extremely simple. Again, it's really just about asking politely for it.)

Further more, I don't talk about my other sex-adventures, and I expect the same of her. Why would there be any need to discuss it? After all, the time we spend together is about me and her, not me and some other girl.

I'll gladly help her with her love life, though. To me, that's an entirely different thing. If she wants emotional attachment beyond friendship, I'm usually not the guy. And if I fealt that way about a particular girl, I'd probably end other "lover" relationships and go exclusive. But that's not to say that my sexual encounters with my lovers aren't romantic. There is just not such an emotional feeling of attachment.

Of course, in the end it's just that kind of emotional connections I'm looking for; to find that special girl, my soulmate. But until I find her, I don't see the need to limit myself by going into exclusive relationships that would probably get torn apart with cheating and jealousy anyway. It's my experience so far that being honest about your intentions up front is far better, and will quell any rampant emotions and drama.

A Few Notes on Escalation

Go French (make out) first. Doesn't matter where you are. Just go for close.

If you are denied, don't fret and go for the neck and kiss her there until she's ready for a make out.

If you are denied again, don't fret, continue as normal, and try again later. If it's an issue, go somewhere more private when you do this, or make her feel hot first by physically teasing her with tickeling or making her give you a massage, and so on.

If you're still being denied, and she's obviously into you, ask her what's wrong.

This also applies to sexual escalation. Try, try, and try again with a twist. If it doesn't work, ask her what's wrong.

Communication is sexy. It will also make her trust you - and believe me, she won't go to bed with you if she doesn't trust you, so don't be afraid to communicate with her. If she's going home with you, and not getting naked with you - then you need to know what's wrong if you want to stop wasting time.

The part about not fretting, or making a big deal about being denied, is important. The maxime goes like this: "If you make a big deal of it, she will make a big deal of it." So don't make a big deal about it! Just continue as normal.

And remember: A girl expects a man to escalate. If you're on a date and you don't escalate, she will most likely feel very disappointed. She may even get down right angry with you, or show signs of passive aggressiveness later on. So go for close, dude! Always!

The Ladder

So you want to find out if she wants to have sex with you? Then I present to you The Ladder (of Escalation).

#1 Open, attract and hook her into a conversation with you.

Remember, if she's talking to you, it's the only IOI you'll ever need.

I'm of course assuming here that you're a confident opener and that you are able to hook the girl you want and get into a conversation with her. At the very least she has to be paying attention to what you have to say. The ability to do this rests entirely on your own skill in attraction.

Another thing you should know is that it's not what you say, but how you act that will attract her. This is again highly governed by your state, and your ability to dance in the moment. For more on how to be in the moment, I highly recommend reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

#2 Make her comfy with your touch.

This is an important step, and really something you want to do right off the bat - heck, even before you start speaking to her. Remember, we've only had spoken language for so long, but touch is what will make your cat purr.

Just don't be creepy. A sure way of coming off as creepy is to be too timid, but it will also be creepy if it seems forced.

#3 Go for isolation.

Get her with you either to the dance floor, or get her seated away from her friends - and yours. A mini-isolation, just taking her a few steps away from her group and facing her back at them, will also work if she's hot for you.

This is one of the most important things that you will do. However, there's a pickup maxime, "Change Her Mood, Not Her Mind!" If she doesn't want to even move a few metres with you, you'll have to see how long you want to try to get her in a better mood before you give it a second go. And if that doesn't work, you are really better off finding another girl than getting into something that at best will be one way communication, or at worst a needy attempt to pull the girl by force.

#4 Escalate into makeout.

This one is also pretty important, if you don't want the whole thing to end in a number close. If you can't see it in her eyes, it's always a safe bet to make her hot first by kissing her in the neck. So far I've never been stopped when doing this. Also, if she denies me her lips or turns away at first, I usually work her neck a little first to heat her up. This - with some teasing - usually ends in a makeout.

If she keeps denying you, it may be because she's shy or she thinks too many people are looking. Especially if you're too close to her friends, this can pose a problem. In that case: Move to a more discrete place.

Persistence is key here, but don't overdo it either. If she really doesn't want you, she'll say no, push you away or get angry. Only then is it time to stop.

#5 Don't make out for too long. Stop after a while.

If you're not at home, you shouldn't make out for too long, as the fire will die out after a while. When she's not horny anymore, the validation she got from making out with you is enough for her, so don't let that happen. Stop a little bit before it gets too comfortable, and...

#6 Take her home.

...Or wherever it is you'd like to take her.

Now, if she doesn't want to come with you at this point, don't sweat it. Sometimes you'll just have to lead her. Take her hand and lead. It honestly doesn't matter where. Soon enough you will find a private spot.

Even if you can't get her to come home with you, if you've got this far, she'll probably want to see you again anyway. So just take her number, smile, and let her walk away with her friends.

Then when you find your private spot, just undress her while you kiss.

Break a leg!

How to use The Ladder

The Ladder is only a description of a minimum of recommended steps to get you where you want to be, to get her to bed. It's not the ONLY way of getting laid, but if you've never gotten laid before, or you're having trouble getting trough the process, looking at where you are on The Ladder is a great way of understanding what you have to work with. It simply gives you hints for what you can read up on, and go out and train for. And in truth, the only thing you really need is experience - and you only get that by getting out of your house and into conversations with women where you escalate and go for close.

Remember: The Field is KING!

The Pinky Finger

A lover of min told me a story from one of her first dates. The boy who went with her was very sweet, but also inexperienced and too timid. She liked him, and decided to go on a date with him even still.

They were going to watch a film.

He was completely in awe of her, and didn't quite know what to do with his attraction for her. So when they sat down, for a long part of the film - a romantic comedy - he did nothing. But after a while his desire won over his wit. He wanted badly to touch her, but without a clear solution on how she would react, and fearful of - God forbid - rejection, he chose to sneak in on her.

Slowly he started to make his move, hoping that she wouldn't notice. He started to twist his arm ever so slowly in her direction, trying to inch in on her with his little finger - the finger closest to her.

At long last he managed to get close enough to touch her hand, but for the last inch he stopped short, wondering if it was safe to go ahead. She could feel his insecurity growing in the chair next to her, but still she didn't move, excited to know what he'd do about it.

Finally he decided to overcome his fear, and touched her hand for a brief moment. It was his moment of glory. He had made it, and completely alienated the girl in the process.

"What the fuck is he doing?" she wondered, and felt sad that he was such a wimp.

After that, she decided to never see him again. What she had seen was only a creepy guy needing badly to overcome his fear for her - the woman he felt was so much better than him that he barely dared to touch her. Silently she wished he would at least be man enough to touch her in a proper way - to take her hand into his and making her feel good by stroking it instead of making such a big deal out of it.

Overcoming his own fear like that was of course marvellous, but in the end it didn't help him much either. So don't be a wimp. Don't sneak your pinky finger into her. Instead be assertive, take control, and show her that you're man enough for her.

About Beauty

Don't deny yourself beauty. It is one of the main driving forces behind your desire. It is what makes your life into a better place, and the more you focus on true beauty, the more you will surround yourself with it.

The fear of beauty
Sometimes looking at beauty is like looking at the sun. There is fear involved. But know that only by confronting it, accepting your own feelings about it, and becoming comfortable with it, can you ever win it over.

Most people do not dear to confront beauty because they secretly have a fear of loss. They actually think that they will loose beauty if they want to come closer to it, like they somehow don't deserve it.

This fear is illogical at best.

Enjoy it, or for ever let it go
If all you desire is to look at it, then look. It is after all only a fleeting moment, and you can either enjoy it then and there, or let it go - for ever. However, if you truly want it in your life, you will only get it by facing your fear and taking action.

If you feel down, or out of it, most of the time it just means that you're not aware of all the beauty that surrounds you. You may be focussing on other things, like your own desperation or how life is treating you unfairly; mainly things that make you focus inwards, when what you should really do is look around you and take in all the beauty.

I'm not just talking about beutiful women here. I'm taking a broader perspective. Everything that is good, is also beautiful. But if you want something that is good, you must also be aware of it. If you're not, and instead focussed inwards and thus uncounscous of all the beauty - how could you ever find beauty, if you don't see it?

Do not long, take action
Now, you may see beauty, and long for it. This is the first step in taking action, because what you can see, is also within your reach. Don't let your bad feeling hold you back, your sorry excuses for not daring to take on beauty head on. Only then will you be able to fully surround yourself with it. Those who long, are also those who will never have. Instead act on your desire. Confront it. Only then may you fully immerse yourself in it.

However, this is hard if you do not understand that beauty is infinite. There isn't just one flower on the meadow. There are thousands. How can you loose beauty if you loose but one flower? Sure, a loss is always sad, but there are so many others to keep you happy. When you attach yourself to just one, you also distance yourself to all the others. So always keep your options open, and don't let yourself be blinded by beauty. After all, what good is beauty if it takes away your freedom?

Commit to love, not to the moment
In terms of women, I'm not saying that you should never commit. But if you choose to do so, at least do it on the right terms - after you have taken a closer look and made a proper desicion. After all, why should you commit if it's not perfect? When there are so many others out there (and when you do not fear confrontation, you will truly have access to them all) why should you commit to the first that comes along? You may be missing out on the love of your life. But I can also tell you that love is something that blossoms slowly. You have to get to know her for this to happen, and while this is happening, commiting may leave you wanting. It would be bad for both of you.

Remember this: Beauty is not eternal. Infinite, yes, but not eternal (there are those who look for eternal beauty, and may their search be a happy one, though they may find themselvese searching for eternety as well). This is why beauty is best experienced when you're fully in the moment. Only then will you, withouth any need and by truly selflessly giving from yourself, be able to confront it and fully immerse yourself in it. When you are in essence happy, beauty will come to you no matter what.

After all, commiting to the moment is contradictory. If you truly live in the moment, all you do is to exist in happiness. Commiting isn't even a part of it. But if you find true love - whatever it may look like - committing to it may also give you great inner peace.

About uglyness
Now, how do you deal with uglyness? The things that repulse you, plainness, or the things that you simply do not find attractive?

The answer is quite easy. Accept it.

Life is too short to look at uglyness. Instead look at all the beauty around you. Take it in. Uglyness and especially plainness will always exist side by side with beauty. Without uglyness, there would be no beauty - only plainness. You wouldn't really notice it at all. But do you ever question plainness? Well, nor should you question, or even focus on, uglyness. Just accept that it is there. It is completely natural. Instead focus on the beauty, and be thankfull for it.

Best of luck
You may fail at first. But remember, beauty is infinite. There are many more, and you need not put a lot of emphasis on the first ones you encounter, because they are, after all, only training for the one true beauty that will become your eternal love.

Masturbation Is Good For Your Libido

Possibly.....
At least read this and consider it.

Sexual activity (including masturbation) increases testosterone levels in men. Testosteron makes you a go-getter, and is therefore vital for pickup (as well as for growing muscles if you're into body building).

If you stop masturbating, reseach has shown that the level of testosterone in your body will stay dormant for six days. On the seventh day, it will suddenly grow to a peak, and then plummeth to near zero during the day. After the seventh day, you become less aggressive, more docile, and less sexually active and of course less competetive - and your hair and muscle growth will subside to a standstill. (Add female hormones into the mix, and you will actually start turning into a woman! :p)

If you want to grow your game (including your muscles) you should opt for the highest level of testosterone possible. If you don't have a lot of sex, your second option for maintaining a high level of testosterone is to masturbate regularly.

Sexual activity (including masturbation) also releases feromones that affects the opposite sex in different ways (it basically pushes hormonal buttons inside her, thus making her horny). Now, when you have sex with a woman, this releases a lot of feromones from the both of you - made to incite you to stay together. But your state of intense post-sexual well being, and your smell, also makes you sexy to other females. That's exactly why many men claim that it's easier to pull new women just after you've already had sex (this is my experience too, btw).

So, to increase your sexyness prior to going out, my advice is to shoot your gun. It will make you feel good, and you'll have an air of attractive feromones around you when you go out. Don't be fooled, though. This is no substitute for good game! It is not a magic pill! If you are needy, unhappy and outcome dependent, you will still go home alone. So get out of your head and have some fun with the girls instead.

Isolation Drillcamp

Player...SHUN! (Stand at ATTENTION when your drill seargent is speaking to you!)

I hear you faggots aren't isolating anymore... I hear some of you complain that you never HOOK or you've got double A... Hell, I even hear some of you say that you are too SMOOTH for that... Well I'll tell you the only thing smooth about that is the CRACK up your ASS!

When you have opened, and IF you loosers even hook, YOU... WILL... ISOLATE! Heck, even if you DON'T hook, you WILL isolate! Go... for... i-so-lation! ALWAYS! No excuses!

I don't give a rats ass if you faggots don't know what you have to do AFTER you isolate, as long as you ISOLATE! I don't give a fuck if you girls are too afraid to even open, as long as you ISOLATE! And if you shitheads don't hook when you isolate, well, then TRY AGAIN until you make it or GET rejected!

You have TWO days to complete this task (that should be more than enough for your weekend leave), and if I hear you sacks of SHIT haven't isolated during the time alotted, you get ONE WEEK in the brig!

This is no bloody ISOLATION VACATION, you scumbags! Now get your asses out there and ISOLATE!

DISMISSED!

Oh.. And please leave a report about how it went at the HQ (yeah in the comments, dumbass).

* You isolate your target (i.e. the girl you want) by bringing her away from the set (i.e her friends) after you open. There are many ways to do this. In most cases you will want to bring her a short distance away from the set, and have her back turned to them so that she can't readily communicate with them (e.g. trough eye coding). When she can't see them, there is less social pressure on her, and thus she can become more "private" with you.

You may also bring her to an adjacent table, or to a dark corner to make out or to "show her something" (usually something comfort relatet like The Cube - but me, I just go for close). And yet another popular way to isolate is to "go out for some fresh air". If you get her that far, though, you might as well go for extraction (i.e. bring her home, or whatever).

* You "hook" the set when you get their attention and they listen readily to what you have to say. You actually don't need to hook before you isolate. The act of isolation may in fact be your hook point. If you wonder about this one, read my other article about The Only IOI You Will Ever Need.

* Double A, AA = Approach Anxiety, i.e. a totally illogical uneasyness. The cure? Just have fun and mingle.

The Only IOI You Will Ever Need

If the girl still stands there listening to you after you've done whatever you've done, it means she loves you. In my humble opinion you don't need to pay attention to any other IOI's.

1. If the girl still stands there after you hook her: Kiss or isolate her.
2. If the girl still stands there after you isolate her: Kiss her!
3. If the girl still stands there after you kiss her: Take her with you.
4. If the girl comes with you - she will follow you wherever you lead, so then, make her come.

If there is one or some of these points you can't get past, then do some research and try again with a new girl.

Glory is only for those who dare!

She doesn't have to actually say or do anything, as long as she's attentive. That is the only IOI you'll ever need, and the only one I look for. Now if she smiles, or does a twirly-wirly in her hair, or touches me back - well, that's a nice bonus. But why should I care? It's only closing that will get her back to my place anyway.

This thing is thoroughly tested and really works. If she still stands there listening to you after you've done your thing - she is ready for escalation. It is actually mindboggeling how fast you can escalate with this in mind. You can get away with a pull in minutes or seconds this way. In fact, the only thing that can possibly mess up this thing, is hesitation.

Just go by the numbers, step by step. So, you've presented yourself. Well, then it's time to (1 and 2) kiss or isolate (depending on if isolation is really nescessary). Now, kissing is really boring in the long run, so what you really want is to (3) extract her. And if she's OK with that, then (4) go for glory.

My frame is that of experimentation. I want to see how far I can get before I get rejected. So if I do, I know exactly what I need to work on until I meet the next girl.

Often she will shit-test when you come onto her very fast. Mostly, however, she will be thoroughly impressed by your balls. I don't see how you can be more direct and unapologetic than this.

BTW, here's another note: If she "stands there" with her back turned to you... Well, that isn't going to do you much good, is it?

And somebody asked about kino? Well, kino's actually optional. But without kino chances are you won't close either. :p Unless you only go for a numberclose - which is totally fine! Please do go for numberclose! Don't forget that number! Actually, do it as early as possible, so that if you loose her, or whatever, you can call her back so that you can get rejected a second time.

People who say they don't go for numberclose are LAME!

* The term IOI stands for "Indicator of Interest" and comes from the Pick-Up community, popularized in the book The Game by Neil Strauss.

The Art of Trial vs. Needyness

I had a very interresting discussion with a friend lately about what makes pickup work or not.

I noticed that when I was just experimenting with what I could get away with, I got a lot better results than when I needed to get somewhere specific with a girl.

Whenever I started to need the girl, I would loose her - just like that. I could even start out experimenting, but then I'd fall for her - because of her smell, or the way she looked - and the moment this happened, she would walk off or push me away and I ended up with yet another rejection (which is good, by the way, since you only learn by going for close).

But when I was only experimenting, when I just wanted to see where things might lead me, I would get away with it.

The conversaton could go like this: I open her, and hook. Since she's still standing there, I'm assuming that she is in love with me, but just standing there gets old quickly, so I want to see if she will let me isolate her. Good. That was no problem, so we get seated and talk some more. Then talking becomes boring, and I start wondering if she would let me kiss her. So I try, and "Oh Glory" it works! But making out also gets boring. Really, it does! At least when you do it often enough. So I start to wonder if she would like to come with me, either home - hehe - or even to the toilet. Well, the only way I will find out, is by testing, so I get up, and reach out my hand to her. And lo and behold, she grabs my hand, and we're off.

When you need a woman, she will notice and back away. Why should they waste time on someone who can't take care of them, and only wishes to use them? This is the reason women don't respond well to needy men, ironic as it may seem.

Now, when you're just testing, and trying to see where a certain move might lead you, the only need you have is to learn. You don't need the woman - not in a direct way, since all you wish to do is learn more, about her, about yourself and what you're capable of, and of life and the art of pickup. You don't need her spesifically, since there are literally millions of other women you can run this test on - and that is also why i think they respond well to it. They can feel the abundance you have, and know that they had better come with you, or you will leave with someone else.